Service notes: The Cathedral, Barchester -- Liturgy of the Word

Last Sunday I attended the principal service at the Cathedral in Barchester. Every pet peeve of mine was in evidence, plus some new horrors that had never entered even my lively imagination.

Having looked over the propers in advance, I suspected that we would be singing "The Church's One Foundation," to the tune Aurelia, to which I have taken an unreasonable dislike. I generally have a high tolerance for Victorian(ish) schlock, but Aurelia is the sort of tune meant to be sung by elderly rectors' wives with huge vibratos and a tendency to scoop. Naturally, then, the prelude was a voluntary on Aurelia that took the tune's natural lugubriousness to new depths.

Then, from the back of the nave, the Dean proclaimed the good news of the opening hymn: "Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. The opening hymn is number 460, 'Alleluia, sing to Jesus'. Number 460. Please stand and sing our opening hymn." Of course I hate the giving of directions during a service -- we'll come back to that in a moment. The congregation sang rather well, actually, though they were seriously handicapped by the abundant carpet, which muffled the sound, and the organist, who dominated rather than supported. (From Aidan Kavanagh: "Churches are not carpeted.") I'm pretty sure I saw the Dean making a "move-it-along" gesture during the hymn; certainly the organist's tendency to get slower and slower was trying.

Then the opening affirmation: "Good morning." I don't have my Kavanagh handy to quote his especially bitter denunciation of the use of secular greetings in the liturgy. But what is it that prompts celebrants to bring worship to a lurching halt just as it's beginning? We get a little patter about how grateful he is that we all found our way into the Cathedral in spite of the road construction. He has wandered from the chair during this business, so he returns for "Blessed be God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." The Dean is the sort of celebrant who projects great enthusiasm and energy. I find his manner overdone, myself, but that's a matter of taste.

The lessons are read properly and well, although I personally could have done with a better tune for the metrical psalm, which was set to Gardiner. (Some hymnals call it "Germany." Notice its Aurelia-like qualities.) Then the Dean announced the Gradual Hymn (by which he meant the Sequence Hymn), the dreaded "Church's One Foundation." The Deacon read well. I do have a question about vestments, though. There were two Deacons. One was the Gospeler and led the Prayers of the People; the other was Deacon of the Table, I suppose we could say. (I wonder if there's a proper term for that.) The Gospeler wore alb and stole. The Deacon of the Table wore a stole over what I suppose we have to call a dalmatic because "hunter-green polyester poncho" isn't a technical term in liturgics. Was that proper?

Anyway, the Dean preached an evangelical sort of sermon that was actually pretty decent. The service went along by the book until the Peace, when of course complete chaos broke loose and absolutely everyone had to shake hands with absolutely everyone else. I have just about given up on finding a church where the exchange of the Peace is understood as a liturgical gesture rather than social hour.