Funeral instructions (just in case)

1. Nothing that sounds remotely like “celebration of the life of ____" is to be uttered or printed. This is a burial service, not the Kennedy Center Honors.

2. There is to be no eulogy. I defy you to find anything about eulogies in the Prayer Book. Instead, there is to be a homily, as provided for on p. 480.

3. Notice that I just gave a reference to the Rite One burial service. I have very carefully put together a Rite One liturgy, and I expect it to be followed, without any variation whatsoever. Follow the rubrics, say the words just as they are printed, or I will haunt you.

4. Whatever can be sung, should be sung. Whatever can be censed, should be censed.

5. For some reason the organist likes to take “We sing of God, the mighty source” (Hymn 386) at breakneck speed. For purposes of my funeral, it is to be played at the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Tempo, which is half-note = 50.