Another reason I love my Bishop

The university from which I have an offer has finally presented the details of the offer they're making to my partner, and it's a doozy: a tenure-track position with a 2-2 teaching load and a starting salary of $50,000. This is the Grand Prize of academic coupledom: two tenure-track positions (tenured, actually, in my case) with a light teaching load at the same research-oriented institution, both well-paid. We had both expected that it would take us two or three years to get something anywhere close to this; in our most sanguine dreams we would never have expected to get the whole enchilada in our very first time on the market together.

The only possible hitch was about my discernment. As I have discussed before, the new job is located in a diocese whose Bishop will not ordain or license a priest in a same-sex relationship. Although from a purely academic standpoint the offers are too good to turn down, it appeared that accepting them would mean postponing ordination indefinitely, which was almost impossible for me even to entertain. I was speaking about this with a marvelous priest (who was also counseling me about the Crisis that Dare Not Speak its Name), and she said, "The Bishop is someone who likes to find ways to make things happen. Just ask him to help you find a way to stay connected with this Diocese even after you've moved."

Suddenly I had a feeling of hope: it seemed altogether possible that I could do justice both to my relationship with my partner and to my relationship with the Church. So the next morning I sat down to compose an e-mail to the Bishop. By the time it was ready to be sent, my mood had changed. "This is the most cockamamie idea I have ever heard of," I thought; "the Bishop is going to think I've lost my mind." But I sent it anyway, because I was feeling desperate, and this was the only thing I could think to do.

A day passed, and I heard nothing. Worst-case scenarios, each more improbable than the one before, passed through my mind. The next day an e-mail arrived. Dare I look at it? I looked, and the Bishop was as accommodating as I could have hoped. I've talked with my Rector about how to maintain a real connection with my present parish even while I'm away, and I don't see any problems with that. Of course, there is still the worry about what will happen down the road when I'm ordained but unable to function as a priest where I live. But I'm willing to take one problem at a time.